The pursuit goes on
December 17, 2011 at 2:05 pm 5 comments
“Hope you’re ready for some serious Trivial Pursuit sessions. My dad was slipping over Thanksgiving so looks like you’re gonna need to carry the guys.”
It was only a comment my sister wrote on Scott’s facebook wall and I know she said it in jest, but for a few seconds, my stomach was in knots. And not because I give two hoots about the board game.
My dad is the king of Trivial Pursuit (blue and yellow are his strengths) and you always want him on your team. I must add that my mom is very good as well and if they were on a team together, they’d trounce you, especially if you play the version printed in 1980, which we sometimes do. So when making teams, we split them up and hope for the best.
I always say that I will know my dad’s health is in decline when he starts losing, especially on any of the history questions. (I will also think Scott has a brain tumor when he can no longer parallel park. You might think I’m dying when I pass up garlic bread.)
Of course I say these things in jest as well, because otherwise it would just be too morbid/I don’t want to jinx anything/a person is allowed an “off day”/I may be on a date with Ryan Gosling and not want garlic breath.
(Also, my parents are only in their 50s and healthy. My mom would want me to add that in here.)
I get schmaltzy at this time of year anyway but I’ve noticed I’m thinking about these things more and more. I know a big part of it is living so far away. I am always going to question where I live. I have to trust that what I have going on here is worth what I’m missing over there. I probably won’t know if I’m right until something goes wrong.
The other part is just getting older. You know more people touched by sadness and hardship. You thank your lucky stars it isn’t you, but you start to wonder when things go too well for too long. Is it your turn for the sadness?
The biggest change is that you worry about your parents and what’s to come. When did that happen? What do you do about that?
You used to think, me, me, me, me, me, meeeee!
You used to say, “Can you put money in my account? Send more packs of instant mac & cheese! I’ll see you when the semester’s over. Unless I get a better offer.”
Now you think, should I live closer to them? Will I regret not being there? Am I missing out?
Now you say, “Can’t wait to see you at Christmas! There is no better offer. P.S. Want to be on my team?”
Like this:
Entry filed under: expat, life. Tags: Christmas, family, Home, life, life lessons, living abroad.
1.
Meg @ Ameringlish | December 17, 2011 at 3:16 pm
Oh, how I feel you on this. Not so much with my parents, but with my grandparents. My G’ma is 91 and my Papa is 88. We didn’t get to go to San Antonio for Thanksgiving this year. They’re in amazing shape for their age and still live independently, but still… Every time I see them it strikes me just how old they are getting. I kept having awful feelings of “what if something happens and I missed the LAST TIME to see them?” We skyped with them via my brother’s iPad which was nice, but just not the same.
I do feel the geographical distance with my parents more acutely now that I’m pregnant. I know how much they’ll adore our son and how much they wish we were closer, but I keep telling myself it’s only a plane ride.
2.
caitlin0210 | December 17, 2011 at 3:51 pm
If I had any grandparents still alive, I’d feel 100x more worried about them than my parents. I have no reason to worry about my parents really, but that’s the thing. Anything could happen. I know if/when we will have kids, it will be even harder. I grew up “a (long) plane ride away” from my grandparents and I was always so jealous of my cousins who knew my grandparents better. At least I’m not alone in this!
3.
andrea | December 17, 2011 at 8:13 pm
I totally understand – but you know what is crazy? I worry about these things just as much and I now live a mile from my parents. It just sucks watching them get older (even if they still have years and years ahead of them). I like, no I love spending time with my parents. I wish I could go back and tell my teenage self that my parents would one day be 2 of my favorite people and it was okay to want to hang out with them, despite what my friends did.
Have an awesome time at home, I will wave to you as we cross the Atlantic
xx
4.
Lane | December 17, 2011 at 11:34 pm
You know I know how you feel. I wish there was an easier answer!
P.S. Sounds like if my dad and your dad were on a trivial pursuit team together, the world would bow down before them. Or if we put them head to head, someone might die.
5.
Kevin OB | December 22, 2011 at 11:21 pm
I know what you mean. My parents have messing with me over the last couple of years by revealing that they’re human and are suceptible to illness. Not cool guys.