Open letter to Cadbury

Dear Cadbury Chocolate,

While I wholeheartedly agree that Britain trumps the US in healthcare, holiday time, and banter, there are very few British food products that reign supreme. You, however, are one of them. Hershey’s who? I haven’t had Hershey’s Kisses in years, barring the time my parents went to Hawaii and sent me Hershey’s Kisses with macadamia nuts inside them. You should look into that. Delish!

Last week I bought an Advent calendar and specifically chose a Cadbury Chocolate one. We always buy Cadbury, though I will admit I did waver when I spotted a Twilight Advent calendar. But I knew yours would be better quality.

So imagine our surprise when we opened the first window on our way out of the door on Wednesday, 1 December.

Nothing was behind Day 1. Just a bit of tin foil. Scott flipped the calendar over and then back to the front.

“There’s no chocolate in here!”

After inspecting the calendar myself, I said, “Maybe you have to open several doors until you can get a piece.”

Scott, looking crestfallen, asked, “Would they do that?”

I shrugged. “It’s Christmas. Maybe some parents like to teach their kids a lesson and make them wait for the chocolate.”

We both read the packaging. Chocolates get bigger as you get closer to Christmas.

Scott stuck his fingers in the day 1 window, feeling for chocolate, refusing to give up. And again, found nothing. He tore open the back and we discovered a long piece of chocolate behind days 3 and 4. Maybe my theory was right.

Alas, work was waiting and we had to leave the calendar. We didn’t open a window on day 2 or 3. The calendar had sort of lost its excitement.

***

After closer examination (not while we were trying to get out the door for work), it turns out the plastic sheet of chocolate was upside down. After a little bit of calendar surgery, we were able to open four windows this morning, which meant we each got two pieces of chocolate. And yes, Cadbury, the chocolate was tasty, but if this is the reaction two adults had, imagine what a 7-year-old would have felt like? Frankly, it’s a good thing we were the ones to buy that calendar. We’ve probably saved Christmas for some little kid.

And may I remind you that I passed up a chocolate-filled Edward Cullen calendar for you? Sure, maybe the chocolate wouldn’t have been as nice, but there would have been chocolate behind every window. And when it comes to Advent calendars, there has to be something behind every window…even if it’s just a little picture or a religious quote.

Your packaging says to return any Cadbury product we’re unhappy with but I’ve thrown away the receipt and let’s be real, I’m not actually going to bother with returning it. I’m just going to blog about it.

Next time I’ll follow my heart and go for the Twilight calendar. As for singing your chocolate praises? Just be glad you came out with those Cadbury Clusters. That’s all I’m saying.