How to get laid on Super Bowl Sunday

The last time I liked anything related to football was when I was 12. I went to a local high school football game and was bored out of mind. While flipping through the program, I came across a player named Jay. I drew a heart around his face and hung the photo in my room. By the time I got to high school, he was long gone and I had only ever managed to see one more photo of him in an old yearbook. I kept that team photo for years. I still have the photo.

I have been to quite a few Super Bowl parties but I’m pretty sure I’ve never actually watched a Super Bowl game. I find American football excruciating. For one, there are four 15-minute quarters which always makes me think, ok, an hour…I can do that. But it’s never an hour! It’s more like four.

Two: you can’t even see the men properly because they are covered in pads and helmets.

I do like Super Bowl parties though. I can appreciate the excitement other people have for the game and the best commercials are shown during the Super Bowl. But by far the best part is the food.

A  simple Google search will show you how much thought and planning goes into a Super Bowl party. The food that is served always seems to be geared towards men. Lots of meat, cheese, beer, spice. Easy on the veggies.

But the truth is women love it too and it’s the one day you can gorge yourself on 7-layer dip without feeling like you really should be eating the cucumber sandwiches and fresh fruit.

A staple at my family’s football parties is sausage dip. In the past, I had always described it as something men love. These days I add that this is a dip American men love. I haven’t properly tested the British market but the couple of Englishmen who have tried it, liked it, but didn’t loooove it. I know, I can’t believe I’m still with a Brit either. *

Anyway, this dip has now become the “Never Be Single Again” Sausage Dip or maybe more appropriately, “Sure to Get You Laid” Sausage Dip. The women who have made this recipe have nothing but good things to report back. And I do mean good things.

The dip is quick and easy to whip up. You’ll still have plenty of time to doll yourself up for the party. Though, let’s be real here, you could be bleaching your upper lip right next to your man during the Super Bowl and he would not even notice. But don’t do that. Use that precious time to eat some of this dip yourself.

I don’t make this dip often because, as I said, the magic doesn’t work on my Englishman and like many American recipes, it can be tricky to find suitable ingredients. But it’s Super Bowl Sunday and I’ll be damned if I’m going dip-less.

You’ll find quite a few variations of this recipe and the great thing is that you don’t even need to measure. It’s one of those recipes where you are actually required to taste as you go.

As for the actual Super Bowl game – may the best team win…who’s playing again?

“Never Be Single Again” Sausage Dip

1 lb Jimmy Dean or Bob Evans sausage (feel free to choose Hot & Spicy)

1 1/2 8 oz blocks of Philadelphia Cream Cheese

1 can Rotel Tomatoes and Chilis

1 small can of V8 tomato juice (optional)

Brown the sausage and drain. In a pan, melt the cream cheese in with the meat. Add the can of Rotel. If you think it’s too runny, add more cream cheese. This is where you are free to start tasting.

Add a few tablespoons of the V8 to give the dip a deeper color.

Then transfer to a crock pot and serve with Fritos Scoops or tortilla chips.

Notes to my English readers:

Rotel can be found in several specialty grocery stores and also online. There are suitable substitutes in the International aisle at Tesco and Sainsburys too.

Choose any pork sausage and remove the casings before cooking. If you use sausage meat like I did, you may want to spice it up with Tabasco or red pepper flakes.

You can find Fritos at specialty grocery stores and online but really tortilla chips do the job just fine.
 

*After tasting the dip this time around, my Englishman said he did really like it and maybe it was because I used British ingredients. Riiight.